Thursday, July 23, 2015

Dragon's Guide to Slaying Virgins

Dragon’s Guide to Slaying Virgins
Otherworld Realms  #3
by Isabelle Saint-Michael
PNR/Fantasy Romance
from Otherworld Romance, LLC

Young’s Rules for Keeping a Not-So-Grumpy Dragon

Rule #1: Feed us! As Dragons we eat a lot. No seriously, a lot. Unless you want to be our midnight snack, keep us well fed.

Rule #2: Most Dragons are neat freaks. We don’t keep our swords on the living room table and neither should you. All it takes is tripping over something in the middle of the night and poof, you have slayed yourself.

Rule #3: Dragon society has all types of body types. I’m grumpy when all I eat is salad. You’re not impressing me by only eating salad. You’re just making me grumpy for you. If you’re with a Dragon, eat like a Dragon. (Unless you like salad or are a Werebunny. In that case, order another helping of lettuce.)

Rule #4: Dragons are very protective of their treasure. Not all treasure is made of gold. Lots of times treasure can be trinkets, books, knowledge, and people. If you’re with a Dragon, we will protect you. That’s just how it is.

Rule #5: Dragon fire is NOT a party trick. We cannot roast marshmallows for you and your friends. No really, I mean it. Last time I tried I burned down a barn.

Rule #6: Even though a fire burns deep within us, we can always take more heat. For this reason, cuddling is heavily recommended. In fact, we are equal opportunity cuddlers. Provided we don’t see you as a threat and you’re not too dirty, we will snuggle. I’ll admit it is a bit embarrassing when your roommate is a Troll, but you’ll love us come winter.

Rule #7: Know the difference. A Dragon is a creature that derives its power from moonlight and blood magic. It has two forms: our Human form and our Dragon form. The Dragon form is a large beautiful beast that breaths fire. Whelps or Whelplings are what we call our young. Drakes are what many
Humans think of when they picture Dragons. They are wild beasts that often grow very large and are hatched from eggs (not born). They were originally bred to be our pets and protect our nests. 

Rule #8: Dragons don’t waste time with false flattery, ass kissing, or petty insults. If we pay you a compliment, know it was deserved. If we say something critical it is meant to be constructive. If we offer feedback, rest assured we are actually willing to help you correct the issue.

Rule #9: Dragons love games almost as much as food and treasure. Play with us often and we will always come up with interesting rewards and prizes.

Rule #10: Did I mention feeding us often?
Book Description:
Lady Morgan is a Knight of Queen Mab’s court. She’s earned it too – while most other Fae were playing tricks and using come-hither glamours on the unsuspecting, she was out saving the day – and finding true love.  But when fate steals her one shot at happiness, Morgan decides to find out if there really is no job, too big to handle alone.  Armed with a strong sword arm, a never-ending supply of wit, and very little magic, she is willing to take on the most dangerous of enemies…

Vallen is what most knights would consider their mortal enemy: a Dragon.  He’s also Sir Vallen, a member of an ancient order, and the years since he joined have made him as hard and grumpy on the inside as he is scaly on the outside.  His honor would never allow him to take the easy path, though, only the right one… which leaves him in something of a predicament when he first meets Lady Morgan…

When the strings of fate cross, Knight and Dragon set aside their differences to fight a common foe – and find the second chance at love they never knew they were looking for.

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The journey was pleasant and uneventful. It was enough to almost make me forget that I was on a mission to slay a Dragon and avenge my fallen love.
“What are you going to do after you slay Avery?” Heather interrupted my thoughts.
“I don’t really know, to be honest with you. I was going to track down the Dragons that rescued me, and I still may, but I’m not sure how many more Dragons I really want to face in my lifetime.” I sat perplexed. For the first time in months I felt like I almost had my life back, and in many ways it was thanks to Sir Vallen and his brother. Though my blood still boiled when I thought about how they had dumped me in another realm.
“Do you think you will keep fighting, or settle down?” She was full of questions this morning.
“I have been waging war for most of my teenage and adult life now. I’m not entirely sure I want to do that anymore, but I’m not really good at anything else.” What other work was there to do? I wasn’t a farmer. Fae or not, I had a black thumb that made anything that wasn’t a weed shrivel and die within days. I couldn’t see myself crafting as an artisan did, or even building. I shook my
head. “I really don’t know,” I said again, but this time more for my own benefit than hers.
She sat in quiet contemplation of my words. When she finally spoke again it was with a new perspective of the world. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life when this ‘adventure’ is over. It makes me feel a little better that you don’t know either. I thought something was wrong with me for not knowing.”
“I don’t think not knowing makes you lost. I think not caring does. Whatever I do when this is over, I will still help others. I’ve never heard anyone regret their life when they lived it showing kindness and helping others” As long as I am helping people, I know I will find joy in what I do, I thought to myself.
About the Author:

Isabelle Saint-Michael is a cupcake enthusiast, shoe addict, and globetrotter. She is known for her sense of adventure and geeky hobbies. She is frequently seen haunting coffee shops and pubs into the wee hours of the morning. No matter where she goes, shenanigans and mirth are never far behind.

Twitter- @IsabelleStMike

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